There's A Streetlight Down The Road I Can't Walk Under

After a lifetime, you walked back in the door.
I thought we shut that? Actually, I thought we bombed that fucking door.
But no. I had peeked through the key hole every couple days for months.
And one day you were looking back. With those same eyes.
Out to get me from the start you came in and sat in the corner...just out of view
Just close enough that I could hear your voice
Just close enough that I could still hear my heartbeat over your voice.

And then it all came back in a tsunami.

Am I a survivor?

Question Marks and Bleeding Hearts

Last night someone I care deeply about asked me "What do you love most?"

All I could say was "That's a scary question"

Then I thought about it. It IS scary, mostly because I don't have an answer. There is no one thing that I love the most.

Kinda sucks

Ghosts Of Months Past

Four months down the road.

Things change at as fast of a pace as they always have. The only difference is that now I can feel the changes coming.

I've lost and gained a lot in the last 4 months. Experienced so much more. Made new friends, lost old friends, stopped writing, started writing, toured...twice, drank...a lot, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

How often will I update this? Probably not as often as I'd like to think, but I'll try, I just don't want to look back and think it was dumb. But that's life.

I'm Not One To Plagirise...BUT...

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

An Excerpt From Sydney's Final Transmission:

"I'm not gonna try to be catchy or cliche
Or write about what I haven't actually encountered in my life
I just wanna know what the fuck I'm singing about
And honestly, isn't everyone sick of people who think TV is reality?
Because sometimes I feel like I'm living in a never ending episode of Dawson's Creek
"But oh, Scott, the kids deal with real life issues!"
Fuck that!
The truth is, we're just a bunch of 20 year old kids who really like music
We play what we like and feel sorry for those to serene, who think we are ruining music
The death cab is waiting outside
Music isn't a competition, its a compilation of ideas
One bands success surely does not mean ones failure
Fighting should be left for those with thoughts big enough to end it
And the last time I checked, I never wrote a bomb
Or have I?
So support those around you
Set aside your petty bullshit
Just be cool!
Cause some day this will all be over and you will be alone
And being alone doesn't look that cool
The End!"

And The Last Will & Testament of Marilyn's Vitamins (www.myspace.com/marilynsvitamins):

"we were dorks.
honestly.
there isn't much to say about us, what we said, or what we did. at any given time we were simply 5 wide-eyes fools from the suburbs who lacked even the most basic organizational skills. from comic book influences to misadventures in automotive mechanics, it's a small wonder this lasted 5 years.

as you listen to these songs, close your eyes and imagine quitting your job and spending nights, weekends and summers with your best friends, travelling to places you've never heard of with the outside world completely ignoring you. through all the pseudo-struggles and hardships associated with wasting your early adulthood years away in a broke and go-nowhere rock'n'roll band, imagine the indescribably feelings created from witnessing fists raised high and ideals screamed back in your face with as much passion and intensity as you used to create the music which brought it all together in the first place.

when you imagine this, you'll have a small idea as to how these 5 years have forever changed and shaped our lives.

MARILYN'S VITAMINS: 1995-2000 "

Trading My Ellipsis For Exclamation Marks

And why shouldn't I.
Happiness, comfort and understanding feels much better than instability, fakeness and deceit.
I always hoped this would happen.
I always alluded to it.
That one moment where everything else disappears.
That one moment where you realize that there is someone else in this world who gets you.
Anyone who would begrudge me of that, isn't anyone I want to know.

Hammers and Strings

I don't need a fake. I don't need someone who lies to themselves. I need someone who is comfortable enough with themselves to be comfortable with someone else.

Mark my words, she's out there, and she's close. Maybe I've met her already.

Piano lessons soon.

First Words and Lost Hearts

Maybe you ARE far away, but in reality you really aren't.
I understand things in your head, even the fucked up things,
kinds of things that makes me feel like we are so much closer,
at times I think we really are close, close to so much,
let me in. We both know this could work, Thats really all I want,
all I need. All WE need.


I miss the poop a lot today. I can't wait to see him. Mom said he is talking more and more each day. Sister posted a picture of him on facebook. He's sitting down in a cupboard. Smiling.

How can I NOT miss home with such an amazing nephew.